Is there a bald spot yet…?

I pulled an all nighter last night.  After Logan went to sleep, I had two boxes of orbs I had to wrap….I help out my mother in law with her home business, and she pays me very nicely.  Per box averages me out about 2 hours, so last night I did a 5 hour stretch.  I finished up around 1am.  I texted my husband that I would be up all night working, and could he take care of sandu today, when he got back from work.  My husband works 24 hour shifts, so even just asking him to help out makes me feel bad.  But what makes me feel worse, is when he replied “Don’t worry I’ll be there for you” but then sneaks out of the house as soon as Logan wakes up, so he could go workout with his bros….did I mention that I fell asleep at 3, because I still had to clean up the boxes and put away any dangerous objects….and then my son woke up at 5 soaked in piss (because my husband refuses to get the diapers with Winnie the Pooh on them….you know the ones that can actually retain moisture)….So now to hear that he’s stepping out to play tennis after promising me a morning where I can sleep in…sort of….really….fucking annoys me
I’m on that thing this month, so I’m going to be fucking annoyed a lot this week
Anyway, I told him to have a good workout and now I’m here.  I just don’t want to be the reason why he can’t hang out with his bros, but it does seem that when his bros are around, my husband seems to think he's void of all responsibility…and that’s what pisses me off, not his family.  I love his family in fact, he's got all super smart brothers, and his parents are warm and inviting people.  I don’t know why my husband acts that way, but it’s always been like that with his brothers, they always come first.Sometimes we argue over it, because a wife doesn’t want to feel like 2nd place, or like a third wheel to her own husband.  But I’m learning to except that he’ll never change, just like I’ll never stop morphing into a raging bitch whenever he spits out his spirals of lies…
let me stop now, I’m annoyed, but not that annoyed, I can get very carried away with my feelings and words.  Sometimes, I will come out as a raging bitch, when really I just feel passionate.  That’s actually the story of my life, and trust me its not fun or easy.  Sometimes, trying to wear your heart on your sleeve, around people, back fires.  Sometimes, people don’t want the truth, or to deal with emotional or spiritual people.  It seems like now and days, if you’re not talking about Breaking Bad, or Waking Dead….well then you’re just not good enough for conversation.  Well, I’m working on getting rid of all cable and TV.  Although I would still be able to access those shows online, I'll stick to my diarrhea of reality housewife shows thank you very much.  Where are the people, that I can talk about those shows with?  Or about how the old Tomb raider is actually way better than the new one….or how HER was a lame ass movie….but no, no one like that exist for me.  I am one of a kind, a hater to some, an artist to many…I’ve tried so hard in the past…
I’ve tried to force myself to like WWE and South park, I’ve tried getting into the Hobbit and being apart of the Always Sunny culture of this country, but I just can’t change my nature.  I like what I like and I have to accept that fact that I’m going to be alone in my choices.  I’m too weird…too different….or maybe just not around people that vibrate at my frequency.  But to find any person, who will vibe on my level is hard.  And in the past, those people were usually guys, who were friends, but I’m married, I can’t be out and about with a bunch of guys.
I’m perfectly happy enjoying my quirkiness alone, but it does get lonely.  So I just focus all my energy on my son, and family life...but at night when Sandu goes to bed, my higher self emerges, and I find true happiness within myself.  Where the gatekeepers can't prevent me from coming out.  Where I let my hair down and work on my hand stands, or paint, or even write in this blog.  I love who I am, I'm great, and I want to share myself with the world....even one who wants nothing to do with me >_<
I’m going to end on that note, but FYI, I’ll be posting art and stories here in the future.  I’ll try to caption the title so people would be able to tell a reg blog post from a story or art.
If anyone is reading this, please comment me below your thoughts, I’d love to read them.  Thanks and bye
-Jackness